I’m busting that nut in her face. Directed by Stan Lathan. I don’t know what that is. Oh, my gosh. You have reached the voicemail of comedic genius Dave Chappelle. But I think, harder than black people and harder than Arabs and Mexicans, you know who has it the worst? Isn’t that a fucking amazing coincidence that this disease hates everybody that old, white people hate? Because you start out loving each other. ♪ My mother said I was gonna be ♪ The famous Captain Spaulding returns from Africa and attends a gala party where a valuable painting is stolen. So, is there something we can do, short of jail, just to let him know that he’s wrong?” She said, “I don’t know. No forced entry. I got your number from so-and-so. The only parents that are nice to me is a lesbian couple— Kate and Sarah. For a fucking banana peel? This is where it all went wrong for you. He actually did that. You can have a loud orgasm. You know, getting her obliques nice and tight. Just then, Kate and Sarah pulled up to pick up their daughter, and then we all had to go into the office, and I was really worried ’cause I didn’t want them to kick me out of the school. Short haircut, plaid shirt. You know what I said? At the same time, I also believe she shouldn’t have rushed him. ♪ N ♪. [screaming] Baba!” Thank you very much, Austin, Texas. You know what? If I stop, he’ll stop. “Remain Seated,” his latest solo special, will show you why this Grammy nominated, multi-platinum recording artist, and Billboard award winner is at the top of his game. Oh, no. It’s a big step.” I said, “Yeah, it is. You might as well give them a diarrhea shot if you’re so worried. I think the idea is you’re not supposed to punch her in the face. Do not look at these mean faces. I was just like, “Well, how is this bitch gonna call me a nigger when she taught me how to fry chicken? “Baba!” He’s a black dude’s dog, so he doesn’t come right away. And me and my white girlfriend are at home one night, and we’re just doing what lovers do. You married the person that you love, so it’s essentially the same.” I said, “You know, man, the problem with that statement is that it makes the assumption that I love her. You, fella. Actually the fairest person I’ve ever met. “What’s going on?” “Hi, David. But if I was a heroin addict and I had a licensed physician injecting heroin in me, I should survive that. Oh, boy. A very old penis. User account menu • MOVIES132.TO- Watch Dave Chappelle: Deep in the Heart of Texas FULL FREE HD. Man! Like pick the kids up from school. His dick is, like, 80 years old. Can you imagine? Let me say this, though. I didn’t like it, either!” And then an old white guy stepped out of the crowd and said, “Young man, if you’re going to fill out a police report, I would like to come with you and do the same.” I said, “You guys would do that for me?” And the whole crowd said, “Hooray!” I said, “Come on, y’all!” I looked like Malcolm X going to see Brother Johnson with a trail of white people. You should probably look for a guy with bell-bottoms on, because I don’t know who the fuck is sending tapes!” And that second tape was the worst shit I’d ever seen in my life. This place is virtually undisturbed. Oh. You’ve said it all. People my age and younger, I don’t think we even— We dance to that shit. Chappelle celebrated George Floyd’s life and ripped the media for the way it handled his death in a surprise Netflix special. This man simply beats the pussy up. First of all, black people generally don’t trust doctors. Why? We love your comedy. He’s the first openly gay NFL player. Like, five wars on it, the Civil Rights Movement, the Great Depression. If you’re Arab and forget a backpack, you got about 20 minutes before they send that robot to blow your shit up. MOVIES132.TO- Watch Dave Chappelle: Deep in the Heart of Texas FULL FREE HD. Chop, chop. What happened was, I went to a gallery party, all right? I bring him up because last year, he calls me out of the blue, like, “Yo, what’s up, man? That’s not fair.” I think Donald Sterling’s shit was more serious. Not a banana. What if Martin Luther King just went around throwing tuna casserole on white people? And then they brought my son in. Ebola was in Texas. Deep in the Heart of Texas can feel a bit dated--given that it’s two years old, there are references to Ebola and the infamous recording of Ray Rice in that elevator--but it also contains a long set piece in which Chappelle hilariously imagines Lil Wayne as a gravel-voiced detective on “CSI.” Read full … She’s like, “I’m gonna get some sleep, Dave. But Sarah knows I’m fucking around, so she’ll just say something cool. And don’t go looking for their lunch. He’d be like, pow! Press J to jump to the feed. And I was like, “Hey, you know what? “Nigger” is a pronoun. Can’t keep him.” And then my kids started crying and screaming like the dog had gambling debts. Only Lil Wayne says some shit like that. I feel like if it was a woman gynecologist, it’s cool. But she doesn’t understand these types of things. In this next piece, it’s a special episode of CSI. I don’t give a fuck about that. Dave Chappelle is bringing his popular early 2000s Comedy Central sketch show, Chappelle's Show to Netflix in the US this weekend. 1. Although, I can see that, in recent years, that seat has been occupied by Mexicans… and I daresay Arabs. Thank you very much. They were all just like… Who the fuck does that? I’m a little flustered. Unfortunately, he can’t or won’t speak right now, so please leave a detailed message. “How the fuck are you gonna have a game without us?” But it turned out that the black guy he was speaking of was none other than Magic Johnson, the billionaire! That’s not what this crew is all about.” I’d be like, “What? If you don’t let us keep him, they’re gonna kill him!” I was like, “Oh— All right, you can keep him.” And this dog was a menace. I’m just being real. I just want you to do it enough so that I can tell him you did it.” I’m kidding. Why can’t she just make another one in the morning? I wasn’t gonna throw that hard work away with some Ray Rice shit. No, seriously. And if he said they was fucking with him, they did something to him. I don’t know what else to tell you.” I like when Lil Wayne talks about pussy, because he’s— Remember Lil Wayne used to have that song? Let’s get to the club. I don’t know if I’m asking too much. I’d rather not be at a party where a tranny OD’s. Seriously, he was like… [effeminate voice] “Dave Chappelle’s jokes—” I don’t know how he actually talks. He said, “I did it ’cause Dave Chappelle is racist.” So, n i g g a? We talk about important shit. People used to be very scared of him. It’s a very old man. If you want to get to the bottom of a matter of the heart, what you’re supposed to do is ask a woman. [cheers and applause] You say yes? It’s the most violent thing I’ve seen happen to a woman that was shot in color. You can kiss all that Engineering homework good-bye, Fouhad. I want a two-piece. I’m a germophobe. They brought him in like a prisoner. And I really can’t decide.” And I saw a lady pacing back and forth in the hallway, and I said, “Is that—” He goes, “Yes, that’s their mother.” “Can I speak to her before I make a decision?” And when the mom came in and she saw it was me, she busted out crying. You had that shit waiting on me. Drink some water. Your email address will not be published. Your girl’s bubbling. I just want to see what’s gonna happen to them. She’s staying for the money.” Now, wait a minute, ’cause my other girlfriend was like, “I disagree. But he didn’t think it all the way through, lady. They just rubbed some Vicks on that n i g g a’s chest. Look it up online after the show. Twenty years from now, he’ll be tucking his kids into bed, and the kids will be like, “Daddy, tell me about the day you threw that banana peel at that nigger in Santa Fe.” “Boy, I tell you what. Now, if you see me walking down the street with Baba, I ain’t got no leash or nothing. He got the old Ebola.” [chuckles] You can say what you want about that girl, but I’m gonna tell you right now she is a goddamn hero. It appears that her dick is popping out of her dress. There’s too many questions to answer.” Okay, I’ve been through this before. I’ll probably be back in a couple of hours.” “A couple hours?” You can get a good one in in two hours. I don’t know what, it looked like some kind of gay CPR. I don’t have much time. I knew something was wrong, so I rolled the window down. And she’s really jerking me off. Coming to you straight from the Rialto Square Theatre in Joliet, IL to your seat at home! I’ll leave that for Chris Rock. Just tell me what to look for.” One of those homestyle checkups. One was a woman in the front, older than me, maybe around my age. Okay? “Where was the secret serum?” is what we all said. What she said is, she said, “I am uncomfortable with that word.” And I was like, “Really? How’d you train Baba to do that shit?” “I’ve never trained Baba. Here I am, thinking that old AIDS was working just fine, and they already have a new AIDS out. I said, ‘Man, if I could just get close enough to meet him… I’d throw a banana on that nigger and show him how—'” Fucking Bananagate. Down on his luck, Scotty McKay becomes the master of a very lonely genie, who brings him wealth, power and…. I give up, diarrhea.” Pfffft! Chappelle gets real about racially charged run-ins, celebrity scandals and fatherly dilemmas in a searing stand-up set at Austin's Moody Theatre. I already know you bit the sandwich. It’s just like Colonel Sanders’ recipe. I think that she actually loves him.” And I said, “Wait a minute, ladies. Chappelle gets real about racially charged run-ins, celebrity scandals and fatherly dilemmas in a searing stand-up set at Austin's Moody Theater. And we can also agree that that hot seat is traditionally occupied by African-Americans in general, African-American men in particular. So, imagine my surprise when I go to pick my son up after all this happens. I just said, “Hey, man, did you see that Ray Rice video?” And instantly, he was like, “David, that shit was disgusting.” And then a moment later, he goes… “I wonder what she said to him.” I don’t think that matters. He’s not getting it from me. It’s hard for white people to understand, but what I’m saying is very true. With Dave Chappelle, Morgan Freeman. Who got a cigarette in here? I think either God is white, or the government hid that shit in disco balls. Actually, Kate hates my guts. As a matter of fact, sometimes I do it for her benefit. Not to indict the whites. Is it true? Fortunately, one of them has a cousin who’s a lawyer – Vincent Gambini, a former auto mechanic…, An estranged mother/daughter country music duo reunite after 10 years apart to release a Christmas single after a video of them goes viral. And I was like, “Uh-oh.” I thought I was gonna get jumped. An hour later, we were all sitting in the police station, and the police came in. Maybe she’s butt-naked and she’s down on one knee, giving me a hand-job. But you can’t build a community behind that shit. It’s the most gangster shit I’ve ever heard of in my life. That song comes on the radio— ♪ I beat the pussy up ♪ That’s on the radio. I think I’m gonna come.” And then she looks up at me and goes, “Come in my face… nigger.” I know, that’s a tough one. He was like, “Fuck it, man! If I put on an argyle sweater, and I’m like, “Hey, everybody, I feel like a white guy in this sweater, and I want some goddamn respect and a bank loan,” that’s not gonna work. I was in Santa Fe the other night, and a motherfucker threw a banana peel at me. That’s one thing she made me do. ♪ Buy me ♪ [grunting and panting] “My God, what have I done? I said, “Fine. You could trade that sandwich for something better. You just… The word “pussy” is only offensive if you’re older. And if I go, he’ll go. If you was fucking a girl, and she’s like, “Is this pussy good?” And you’re like, “Yeah, it’s juicy. I had to crack a few jokes. ♪ I’m a man ♪ Everybody be comfortable and relax. But… it’s weighing heavy on me, sir. Larry the Cable Guy is back to Git R Done. We all go through something, but at least I can leave my backpack someplace. Someone fell asleep with their socks off, didn’t they?” You can’t rape feet. I can’t even post a dick pic, and this motherfucker is decapitating people. I don’t know why she’d do that. ♪ I beat the pussy up ♪ That’s a pretty harsh song. I don’t know where he got that from.” I said, “What does that mean, son? Comedy icon Dave Chappelle makes his triumphant return to the screen with a pair of blistering, fresh stand-up specials. What the fuck is this? It’s that Ray Rice shit. But maybe if you— if you could just… suck my dick a little bit. It was fucking awful. You can’t beat him. Anyone got a cigarette I can borrow? After that, I was like, “Fuck going to the doctor.” Why the fuck am I getting my kids vaccinated for an old-ass disease like measles? This will make you very uncomfortable, if he’s just looking at you eating. You know, it’s illegal for a gynecologist to say the word “pussy.” They can only say “vagina,” or they can name individual parts medically, but they can never say shorthand, even if the gynecologist is a woman. And when I get out of the handicapped space, they always want to say some passive-aggressive shit. What’s the big deal? I had to give him a piece of my sandwich so he’d go away, and that’s how we became friends. That’s the setup. “Over here, little buddy.” He’s like, “Thanks, Dave,” and he’ll come get it and run off. I’ll be showing up late all the time, and I’m, like, in a Porsche, and I’m blasting music that they don’t like. The only reason I bring him up is because he’s about to play football again. And I felt sick to my stomach, and I looked up at the clock, and then I saw my wife was coming home in ten minutes, and I just panicked. He was a wild dude. No, no. It’s not that me and my wife don’t spend time together, but we’ve been married so long, we don’t talk like— I don’t know if anyone’s married here, but after ten years, all that chatty shit goes away. But— But we talked. “You’re too strong.” Pfft! Then one of them white guys stepped up and was like, “I didn’t like that at all. So, I didn’t worry about it too much. Close. But—” Will you guys lighten the fuck up? But what’s weird is, my little son in private school, he’s, like, my thuggy son, you know what I mean? I don’t even know why he would do that. After the Tuskegee experiments and all that shit. Who, by the way, made me feel much better. This movie tell story about Comedy icon Dave Chappelle makes his triumphant return to the … Now I might smoke some weed in the middle of the night, and she’ll leave neatly-wrapped sandwiches all over the kitchen. You know what I mean? Is that domestic violence, or is that just two n i g g a s working shit out in an elevator?” You know what I mean? That’s the only way I can get my head in the game. I’ll go straight to the front. “She is fine.” I said, “Word? Because a dog will love you all the time, but she’s not going to. I’ve been in show business 30 years. -Come on, Dave! Just a little bit. That shit actually went down. It was more confusing than it was infuriating. I’m saying everybody’s different.” He said, “You didn’t say ‘different.’ You said ‘funny.’ What’s so fucking funny about the way I fuck?” And I said, “Hey, man, I fuck feet.” He said, “What? I hadn’t seen a tape in over a decade. “Dave Chappelle’s jokes were an affront to the manhood of all gay men.” What the fuck does that mean? But there was no time for philosophical debate. My wife once called me a pussy… in front of dinner guests. I mean, I got sons anyway. It’s fucked up.” She said, “You bit that goddamn sandwich, didn’t you, Dave?” I said, “I’m tired of you accusing me of shit!” And I just ran out of the house. This is pussy juice. I’ll sort through the ethics later. We don’t know what happened because he won’t talk to anybody. Let me just say this. Can we talk to you for a minute in the office?” I said, “No, fuck that. I support anybody’s right to be whoever they feel like they are inside. I was expecting this banana. No, I told him, I said, “You know what you should do, man? Back in the day, I used to eat that shit. He just hit me from angles I wasn’t expecting. They’re not gonna let you get away with this.” And the press called me up like, “Do you have a statement?” “A statement?! Posted by 14 hours ago. If you want to press charges, we’ll move forward. Let me see. It looks like you got 50 with a right and a left, but then 50 slips you a jab. I felt really good in the first round. I don’t necessarily want your son to go to jail, either. ♪ Whoo! I was just worried because— because she looks terrible. Fat black people have a really rough road, because all manner of things kill white people. The only time I jerk off now is if I know how long she’ll be gone. I know. “G-Unit!” You’ll be watching HBO. Don’t like.” How is this guy cutting people’s heads off on YouTube? It’s not a big deal. You can’t rape feet. Because I’ll say shit, and Kate’s just too serious about being a lesbian. You know what I mean. And there was a few eccentric types, one of which was a very wealthy man that happened to be wearing a dress. He said, “No. And we, the black Americans, would like to thank you both for your sacrifice and your struggle. I’ve never been in a position where I could decide the fate of white children before. You’re not supposed to put your hands on anybody.” And his answer was so gangster, it scared all the parents in the room. Pussy, come over here and let me talk to you for a second. Of course, it was a white person. His mother came downstairs. That’s the one that happens in the middle of the night when you’re about to roll on top of her and you see her face, and you’re like, “She looks tired.” That takes a lot of love and discipline to back out of a room with a rock-hard dick. This was an emergency situation. And none of the parents like me, either. You know that’s how it starts. Now, my sister was dressed in all Muslim garb, as were her children, and I was dressed as Dave Chappelle. I jerked off to the tape real fast, and then— and then I called the FBI. By then, she’d heard about everything. If he smells weed in the house, he’ll be like… [sniffing] “Oh, this motherfucker’s about to eat.” And he’ll just come running. Unbelievable. It’s called the mercy jerk. Yoshiyuki Suzuki (Fumiyo Kohinata) decides to escape from Tokyo with his family. In his second comedy special for EPIX, Craig Ferguson puts his sometimes cheeky, always irreverent spin on universal topics from sex and drugs to rock & roll-including his hilarious experiences with Mick Jagger and Kenny G. Kevin Hart serves up laughs and brick oven pizza from the comfort of his home, and dishes on male group chats, sex after 40 and life with COVID-19. MOVIES132.TO Free full movies links, hd streaming and Tv series. You guys going to the father-son picnic next week? She sucked that old guy’s dick. I gotta tap my foot so he can see the food. As soon as I saw it, I just called the police. He looked right into the camera and said, “Obama, I am back.” [swish] I saw that shit, I said, “Oh, my God. The peel was too brown. It’s good.” The pussy was juicy. You see that? No thing in this world is as cold as a woman’s cold shoulder, ’cause she was mad, but she wouldn’t talk to me about it. After discovering her boyfriend is married, Carly soon meets the wife he’s been cheating on. I don’t care that much. You know what I’m saying. I’m not trying to stop gay people. How you been?” He said, “We’ll catch up at the show, but I appreciate it. I saw his name up on the marquee about a week before. ‘Cause if ISIS catches you, they’re going to cut your head off. She’s drunk as hell, buddy. She was very mad. Because… that’s who made the tape. I’m sorry, guys. He was like, “What’s up, man? This is not what this town represents. They’re my only friends at the school. It’s possible in Austin. Dave Chappelle: Deep in the Heart of Texas (2017) – Full Transcript April 20, 2017 Chappelle gets real about racially charged run-ins, celebrity scandals and fatherly dilemmas in a searing stand-up set at Austin's Moody Theatre [Morgan Freeman] He’s in the trance. It’s like if you have a good barbeque, you don’t even think about it. She’s probably right.” I am a pussy. Yeah. I don’t know what kind of drugs he was on, but I knew he had too much. And they can’t just change their ruling just because the tape came out. It’s not that I didn’t care, but I was— I don’t like talking on the phone. Deep In The Heart Of Texas : Married Couple || Dave Chappelle I said, “I should just never go home. I don’t have anything to say.” This guy was fucking famous for throwing a banana peel at me. This is a Marlboro menthol. I’m not saying it ’cause this person was gay. They was mischaracterizing my jokes, trying to make a point off of me, when it was really like— “Yo, I’m your ally, motherfucker. Isn’t it weird how there’s a disease that just starts in 1980, and it doesn’t kill anybody but n i g g a s, fags and junkies? A girl rescues a rat, which the malevolent burgerman wants to make into a burger and sell to the local school children and people. What’s going on?” He had his buddy with him. It’s real hard to get to me. 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